[Continued from here]
"Quinton
enjoyed himself today, I believe."
"I
hope so, my lord."
"But
I have heard what Nereus thinks, and what he has done. I cannot contradict his
order, I'm afraid."
"No,
I suppose..."
"Listen
to me, child." Lord Winstanleigh leant forwards. "Nereus means well,
but he would not listen to me if I said this to him. It doesn't mean anything
anymore, being a Mad Man. We are not mad, merely ignorant. And by the time we
are old enough to realise that, we are too deep into it to get out. I would not
know how to change things, anyway. I am not a clever man. That was
assured."
Beranwen's
mouth hung open.
"Quinton
will never have an education, just as I never had one. People believe stupid is
the same as insane, and they will keep us stupid to protect their way of life.
I don't suppose it matters much - if the Enemy were still a threat, it would
have returned by now. But it pains me that I cannot be true to my post. If the
Enemy were to attack, there is not
one Mad Man in all the kingdoms that could lead an army against it the way
Constantine Merinstone did."
It
took long moments before the silence intruded on Beranwen's shock. Slowly, she
tore her eyes from lord Winstanleigh and looked around. No, the room still
looked the same. The lamps still burned, the table still smelled of polish, the
moon still hung outside the window. So how was it that the world suddenly made
no sense?
"Why
are you saying all this?" She asked eventually. Looking back, she found
lord Winstanleigh looking at her with an unnaturally shrewd expression.
"Because
you helped Quinton think today, probably for the first time in his life. He
thought about helping you fool Derryl and Lucan, he thought about a man not
being anyone's property. He thought about a child that might miss their scarf.
I wish Nereus wasn't sending you away. But perhaps you can use it to our
advantage. Perhaps you can travel to the city and enrol at the college. Perhaps
you can become an advisor, and one day teach other young Mad Men to
think."
"But
that's..." Beranwen put a hand over her mouth. That sort of thinking was
almost treason.
"You
won’t hear it from anyone else. They don’t want you to think that way. They
don’t want us to think at all. But
only when people realise that their Mad Men are not mad will they realise that
they must find a new way. This is nothing but a lie, and I am tired of living
it." He leaned back again in his chair. "I wish my son could be
clever like you. He could make something of himself, and not have things made
of him by others."
"Every
Mad Man?"
"Well,"
Lord Winstanleigh shrugged. "Most. I have not met every Mad Man, and I
cannot say. But if the ones I know are like the others, then most."
"But
if lord Quinton becomes clever, he loses his titles. His livelihood."
"But
if he were clever, he would have another livelihood. He could choose what he
wanted to do. He is a bright boy, and curious - I'm sure you know that, after
today. And if every Mad Man were shown to be not mad, there would be a lot of
empty houses up and down the kingdoms. Something would have to change. Maybe we
wouldn’t lose our lands…”
His
voice trailed off into thoughtfulness. It was strange to see that expression on
the face of a Mad Man. It was just one extra strangeness that piled onto
Beranwen as she sat there.
“What
do you want me to do?” She asked weakly.
“I
don’t know. I know very little, really, except there is this problem that no
one speaks of. I don’t know how many people know, or how many care. Nereus
suspects I am becoming sane, but he wouldn’t listen if I told him I have been
sane all along. Do other advisors know about their lords? Are other lords
better at hiding it than I am? Or do they simply not know the truth about
themselves?” He was frowning, and Beranwen was filled with the urge to hold
him, to hug him tight and tell him it would be alright. He was older than her
father, but he almost looked frightened in the face of so much he didn’t know.
She just wanted to reassure him. But the ground was a shaky under her feet as
it was under his. She didn’t know what was going to happen now.
“I
thought perhaps, if you knew, it might help. Nobody talks about it. But if
you’re out in the world, and you know…?”
Strong and
certain.
Nereus’ words came back to her. She wasn’t an advisor, not really. Not yet. But she could be certain for
her lord.
“It
never hurts to know things.” She said firmly. “And I’ll do what I can with it.
I…”
“My
lord, are you still…” The door to the study swung open and Nereus walked in.
Shock took his voice momentarily, and Beranwen shot to her feet.
[Part 26]
[Part 26]
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