Birdsong broke me out of my half doze the next morning, and I wasted very little time in climbing out of the tent and preparing for the new day. The sun was only just beginning to lighten the sky, so there was little point having another look around for tracks yet – still, the only thing that stopped me trying was the knowledge that I might destroy the very thing I was looking for as I stomped around in the dark. So I cleaned myself up, ate some breakfast, and watched as the sky lightened.
Marcus rose not long after I did, and copied my actions in silence. We sat for maybe half an hour, until the sun began to peak over the hills in the east. Finally, Marcus stood.
“Let’s go have another look around.” He said quietly.
We walked back to the spot where Lilidd’s tracks stopped, and tried to figure out where she had gone from there. Just like the previous night, though, we couldn’t find any other human tracks in the area – we even spread our search to cover and area meters wide, land that Lilidd couldn’t have reached without touching the ground and leaving a mark. We searched back along the visible tracks, in case Lilidd had felt it necessary to retrace her steps exactly. We searched down the hill in the direction Lilidd had been heading. We searched either side of that possible path, in case she had changed direction half way down. Infuriatingly, both Marcus and I found short stretches of footprints, Lilidd’s size, scattered over the slope. The only link there was between them was that they all headed downhill. No two stretches were close enough to move between without leaving traces on the intervening ground, and there was nothing to explain why they started and stopped so suddenly. We stomped around, getting more frustrated as the day passed, but too soon the light faded and we had to return to our cart.
The next day followed the same pattern – neither Marcus or I contemplated leaving for the Spring Market. Instead, we hiked further into the valley, not just searching for footprints anymore, but looking for any signs of a town or a carnival that would match up with what the boy had told us. Nothing. All day. By the time night fell on that second day since Lilidd had disappeared, I was ready to scream. How could anyone disappear so completely, right under the noses of those closest to them? I was absolutely certain Lilidd wouldn’t have left willingly, but how could anyone force her to go without leaving any trace?
A reluctant thought began creeping into my mind on the third day, and I hated thinking it, but as the day passed the thought grew stronger. We weren’t going to find Lilidd here. Marcus and I had futures that depended on the money we were going to make in Ostdell, futures that included a place to sleep and food to eat. If we missed the Spring Market, where else could I unload the quantity of cloth I had with me – certainly not at home, in our sleepy little town of Halivale. I’d lose my business if I couldn’t pay rent on my shop. I needed to get to the Spring Market.
As Marcus and I stopped for a midday meal, there was a look in his eye that said he was thinking the same thing. He wouldn’t say anything about leaving, of course – he was too protective of me and Lilidd to willingly leave one of us behind, and to be fair to him, he had fewer concerns for his future than I did mine, as he could find work as a man-at-arms anywhere. I spent the afternoon mulling over my decision, and voiced it that evening.
“I can’t afford to keep the cloth here much longer.” I said, knowing there was no nice way of saying it. “The Spring Market starts in three days – it’ll take that long to get there from here, leaving in the morning.”
“You want to leave.”
“If you want to, you can stay and carry on searching. It would make me feel better if you did. But I need to go, and I need to go in the morning if I stand any chance of making it on time.”
For a moment, Marcus looked torn, but he came to a decision quickly.
“No, I’ll come with you. Ostdell isn’t the safest city, especially for a woman with a full purse. Lilidd is…” Marcus struggled with his thoughts for a moment, “She’s out of our reach, at least for now, but I can still protect you. We’ll leave for the city in the morning.”
I sighed, feeling guilty for feeling relieved. But Marcus was practical like that, and so the next morning we both packed the cart up again and drove away from Lilidd.
We were one of the last merchant carts to arrive at Ostdell that year, which usually meant a bad pitch, and a bad pitch for a cloth merchant was a very bad start – no one wanted to go out of their way to buy heavy rolls of material, when other stalls were more convenient. Thankfully, one of the officials owed me a favour, and had decided to repay it by saving us a spot not too far from our usual site. It was a piece of luck, and was sorely needed now my negotiator was missing. Marcus and I wasted no time in setting up shop and drumming up some custom.
Marcus spent a lot of time running about, delivering bales of cloth to buyers, as well as stocking up for our return journey. I didn’t mention it, but I noticed we had enough supplies for a couple of weeks more than we needed to get home. Similarly, I know Marcus avoided mentioning anything when I began settling for less than my cloth was worth, speeding up the trading. Neither of us needed to speak about it – we both wanted to get back to the valley and continue our search for Lilidd.
Word got around, and soon anyone with a need for material was stopping by to find out what bargains they could grab from the crazy lady. My cloth was good, and usually expensive. Now it was good and cheap, and everyone wanted some.
I didn’t complain – we sold my entire stock faster than ever before, and were ready to leave two days before the market came to an end. For the first time, we beat the rush of traders out of Ostdell, and accompanied by a light spring shower, we made our way back to Dolina Maslenitsa. Finally, three weeks after we had left it, we arrived back at the spot where Lilidd had gone missing. The place still looked the same – the grass was still growing, the trees were still standing. There was no sign that a carnival had ever been there, or was ever going to be there. The place was deserted.
We set up camp where we had set up before, and stayed up late into the night, searching the valley floor for any sign of life – lights, movement, music.
Nothing.
I lay back and shut my eyes, fighting off tiredness. We had arrived back in the valley the day before, and had searched the area one more time before darkness fell. We didn’t say it aloud, but we knew it was a pointless task. Following the tracks of a single woman in soft shoes, even the day she had made them, was hard enough. Following them nearly a month later was impossible.
After a restless night on the edge of Dolina Maslenitsa, we tried a search of the valley proper. Since we had no real hope of finding any sign of Lilidd, we weren’t disappointed. And, as we had seen from the top of the valley, there was no sign of a carnival.
Now we were back at our camp, huddled by the fire. It was a beautiful evening, so we had abandoned the tent on the cart to sleep under the stars – having Marcus sleeping further away put me on edge slightly, but out here we had a view of the valley to accompany our thoughts. On an ordinary night I would have been asleep already, but darkness was our final hope. Lilidd had disappeared during the night, so maybe the night held the key to finding her.
“We could detour round to that village we saw on the way up.” Marcus suggested. I opened my eyes and looked at him, propping myself up on one elbow. He hadn’t said much all day, and it was strange to hear his voice.
“It would add an extra two days to the journey. We’d have to set off tomorrow.”
Marcus nodded. I knew what he was thinking. Leave the valley, and abandon Lilidd. But the village we had seen in the distance on the way up here, a month ago now, was the closest settlement to this valley. They might know something, might even have found Lilidd wandering or hurt, and taken her in. That was a crazy hope, but I couldn’t help hoping all the same. I lay back again, torn. I couldn’t spend my whole life sitting here, waiting. At some point, I would have to accept that I wasn’t going to find her.
I must have fallen asleep, despite attempts to stay awake. I rose gently out of unconsciousness, willing my dream to stay with me. The three of us were back together again, and we were having a party. There were lots of people, and a band, and Lilidd was dancing round in circles, spinning me around, then leaping towards Marcus and doing the same for him. Everyone was laughing. But I could feel the brightness of the dream fading as I woke, and eventually everything was gone.
Except the music.
I had lain there and listened to it for a good ten minutes before realisation dawned. When it did, I snapped upright, darting glances around me, looking for the source. I couldn’t see anything. Marcus was still asleep, the fire was glowing gently between us, and the moon lit the tops of trees down into the valley. But nothing else. Standing, I padded a short way down the slope, looking for… well, I didn’t know what I was looking for. The source of the music? The town that didn’t always exist?
My movements must have woken Marcus, because his voice drifted over to me as I looked around.
“Tanya?”
“Marcus.” I turned back. “Can you hear that?”
“Hear…” He paused mid sentence and listened carefully. I hadn’t thought the music was that quiet, but eventually Marcus nodded.
“Music. Very quiet.”
“The boy said something about music.”
“It’ll draw you in.”
Marcus and I looked at each other in silence for a few moments until, without needing to talk, we began to dress for a walk into the valley. We left most of our packs with the horse and cart – Marcus buried the majority of the money we had made at Ostdell, keeping a few coins for an emergency. I packed a small rucksack with food, our medicine kit, and a blanket, Marcus handed me my staff as he loosened his knife in its sheath, and finally we were ready. Thus prepared, we doused the fire, and walked into the valley.
I don’t know what happened after that. I think I remember the whole of the journey, but it feels as though it happened in the wrong order. As soon as we left camp, we had made it to the bottom of the slope, but a few minutes later, we were still negotiating a difficult patch of scree half way down. We were walking across a grassy plain one minute, then back-tracking around an impassable slope the next. The music accompanied us all the way down, getting steadily louder, regardless of the absurdity of our movements.
Suffice to say, we found the carnival. Once on the valley floor, it was as though the air had thinned enough for it to peek through, to reveal itself to us. Just like the young boy had said – it turns in the air. A gust of wind blew across our path, making the carnival billow and fade, before returning with the calm air.
Inside, I could see people – ordinary looking people, bustling to and fro on ordinary journeys, like a well attended market. Stalls and tents were set up, and doing good business, but buildings had been thrown together over the years as well, making a strange picture of permanent and temporary. And although I could see the stall owners hawking their wares, and people greeting each other exuberantly, none of their voices reached my ears. Only the music: an accordion, playing doleful tunes somewhere close by, out of sight.
Marcus turned to look at me. We had not spoken since we left camp, and we didn’t need to speak now. Lilidd was in there, we both knew it, and we couldn’t turn our backs on her now.
He nodded his silent agreement at our shared thoughts. Side by side, we walked forward, under the welcoming arch of the carnival.
Welcome to Maslenitsa.
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